I feel guilty. I feel like it's a piece of me that I shouldn't let go. So I tried to get it back.
I voiced this concern to my mom around 9-10 AM just now. Then she drove us to the rubbish bin where we threw the box in. I was the only one who got out of the car. It was somewhat embarrassing because the rubbish bin is in front of a primary school. I'm desperate though so I don't care.
That was until I realized there are too much garbage on top of the box that we threw away yesterday evening. I tried to move some of the garbage with a strong stick (I moved the handle from my broom). It wasn't that dirty because they were all wrapped in big plastic bags. I can move some of them. Unfortunately, there were a lot of young coconuts too. These are very heavy. So I gave up.
I'm ashamed that my will isn't that strong. I hope my blouse can forgive me for my weakness.
After that, we went to buy some food. When we got back to the car (after buying the food of course), I told my mom that I feel guilty about leaving the blouse. I suggested that we try again. My mom said no. She said I should let it go because the blouse is not a living thing. I wonder if I am just being sentimental.
After all, this is my first and only blouse that has ever made me feel so beautiful, and feminine. The lovely pastel green shade is so beautiful and calming, the weight is comforting, the warmth makes me feel happy. I owe it so much for giving me these feelings!
Maybe this is stupid. But I have this nagging feeling that says I should ask the MPSP (garbage truck people) when they come to my neighborhood next time about this blouse.
Updated at 11:04 AM
Oh, shit! They (MPSP) just came. The truck was so full rubbish. It's just not possible to ask.
